Hearsay

well, it's true... and not just 'hearsay';

no, death don't have no mercy...

not in this, or any other land...

I'll tell you this, and you may as well believe it;

llie just is what it is; you can take it or leave it...

might as well grab it with both hands; while you can.

...

ft times 'Time' is much maligned...

as though time could be either ways inclined;

blamed for much lost beyond return, recourse, or relief...

ah, but time is just an open door...

a natural predator; a carnivore, fr sure

but in the end my friends, it is grief that is the thief.

...

yea, and though I am a man of constant sorrow

I refuse to be blinded to the joy...

knowing full well I may not wake up tomorrow;

still, in my heart beats the wonder... of a boy.

...

I will take what this life can throw me

try and keep faith with those that know me

I will 'keep on keepin' on'... as best I can

and when it comes my time to go...

friends, I would have you all to know...

both good and bad, I'll leave this world

one lucky man.

   ..well... 'lost beyond return, recourse, or relief...' I was almost to the bottom of this page when it just went blank on me... so I started again... what else s there to do? I was musing on the loss of my 'one blood son', Kyle William O'Toole; who passed from this earthly hotel January 26th/2008. The ensuing decade brought even more loss and upheaval in my life, including several of my dear friends and the end of a 33 year relationship.  ..."and so it goes",... I suppose.

I kissed my one blood son goodbye

in a failed attempt to revive him

many's the tear has crossed my eye

in my attempts to survive him.

....'my one blood son'.. in my years working with troubled teens, I had several young men in my life that I felt deep kinship with... 'surrogate sons', if you will. But only the one 'blood' son. 'Hearsay' is my personal mantra to follow the late Buzz Thompson's advice (oft repeated) to 'keep on keepin' on...'. My interest and ability to do so was in question for a period of time when I was in the throes of deep depression and despair; complicated by heavy alcohol abuse. I have just turned the corner on two years clear of that particular depressive obsession, and though I am still prone to 'darkness';it seems more manageable these days. I used to take comfort in my 'Black Irish Heart'; and the places it drove me to... these days I just want to live what time remains as best I can. I would very much like to see my grandchildren grow into adulthood, but of course I'll take what I get; as must we all. love to all, d.

 

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